inilah aku!

Akh, seandainya aku bisa melihat semua seperti kau melihatnya
Seandainya aku bisa mencinta seperti kau mencinta
Seandainya aku bisa mengerti seperti kau mengerti
Seandainya aku bisa merasa seperti kau merasa
Kuberharap kubisa…
Tapi tak mampu kumengerti seluruhnya

Maaf, kalau aku tak bisa melihatnya
Maaf, kalau aku tak mampu mencinta
Maaf, kalau aku tak mampu tuk mengerti
Kuhanya bisa mencoba..
Mencoba dan belajar tuk memahami

Tapi inilah aku

NOW

Have you ever imagine what the future would be?
Have you ever imagine whom are you going to be?
Have you ever imagine how you would end up to be?

My Friends,
Don't bother...!
All those imagination will lead to fear...
All those imagination will lead to unhappines...
All those imagination will lead to emptiness...
All those imagination will lead to imagination...

Nothing is real...

Today...is real...
Now is Real...
Live for now, live for today...
For yesterday has passed, a history
For we don't own tomorrow...
but we have now...today, this second...

Let's live to the very best, NOW!

December 2008

I have always been in love with December. Of Course! Who wouldn’t? It is simply because this is the month of my birth and Christmas, and New Year and many celebration during this month. I would never missed any of those celebration. Somehow & someway, my December this year is a bit heavy, I would say. Despite all those hectic moments, busy of Year End Closing, many friends’ birthdays and weddings, I fall in love.

Yep! I fall in love! L.O.V.E

To whom? If you’re reading this, what cross your mind might be “Who’s the man?”

Well, my friend, I am falling in love to special person who has special life and life has been very much treating them special too. Well, I am in love with these many orphans in Pondok Damai. Yup! And btw, they all are girls. I am very much in love with them.

Last Saturday, I joined a Christmas Celebration there, and somehow, I missed those girls already today. Why? I don’t know. But I know I love them and I care for them. If you can explain this feeling, then help me! I can’t! The first time I came there, I feel sorry for them. Living in such a very simple house, which is stuffed by so many children aged 3-17 years old. It was one hell of a house! Not too big, nothing fancy, but all seems enough to protect them. Oh, and I love the Guess Room (where the Sister accept her guests)! I could fall asleep easily there and feel so DAMAI! ( as the name of the Orphanage : Pondok Damai).

I admire these people who live there. I admire their energy, their laughter, their spirit, their warm welcome, their love and attention to hardly known people like me, and for their honesty. They came from different background, different story of life. Yet they don’t just mourning their circumstances, but they fight and living their life to the best. They still keep on laughing, enjoying every moments of their life, and yet not afraid of their future! Unbelievable! I truly admire them. I don’t think I will managed to be like any of them, not even close! I might have committed suicide! J/K!!!

I listened to some of their stories, but not all of course, yet amazingly, it is very much complicated than MY Life! (in which I thought my life is complicated enough!). Thanking them that I can see how lucky my life has been. I still have my parents, brother & sister, friends, still be able to work (this is one thing I complaint a lot about), still be able to go to the movies, to take taxi, to sleep more than 8 hours a day, to hang out and to spend money for my own splurge. How about them? In their youth, they have to share many and learn a lot. Even they have to grow a lot faster then any of us. So, friend, maybe you don’t realize it now yet, but trust me! We are far much lucky than what we thought! L.O.V.E your life! Live in the Moments! And one more thing : BE WHO YOU TRULLY ARE!!

Feels at Home

Gong Xi Fa Chai!!!!!!

Finally I get home safe and sound this morning. Many incidents which makes me arrive this morning instead of last night. Anyway, Let’s just forget about it!
This morning, on my way from Tangerang to Teluknaga, I feel so happy..I don’t know why, but feels so relief finally I get home to a place called home. My Origin Place.
I took angkot and sit next to the driver. The trip was accompanied with oldies Indonesian Songs, e.g Ebiet G. Ade, etc. It was okay for my ear though.

I realized how relieving it was to see green land and scenery. Along the way I can see rivers, Rice Fields, Trees, and much more of natural items. What I like the most from the trip was the wheather was so nice, a bit cloudy and windy, but not raining. Arrive home, meet my brother & sister. Chit chatting, having lunch and then meet my mom, saying ‘happy new year’, took off to my grandma’s house. Meet so many relatives, my uncles and aunties, and also cousins…And the best part is meet my favorite young cousin, Robbie. He’s so fat and so funny…!! Love him so much...Oh, I also finally met my new nephew, Andru. He’s so HANDSOME!! I adore this young man….=PPP

Meet and Greet…is the main purpose of this Celebration!! Trully love this kind of events and celebration. I love my family and also my extended families. I love my grandma’s my uncles, aunties, cousins, love each of them. I am so happy of being part of this family.
O, I forget something, since my other Grandma is staying with us, so, today we had so many guests coming…It was so happy to see so many relatives which I haven’t seen in ages [and of get new updated info of what is actually happening with them…].

This celebration will last, at least, until Sunday. I’m staying home till that day too..so..I need to take this opportunities well…

P.S : We had a new puppy, BONI. He’s so cute…!!!

Btw, ini tulisannya dibuat pas SinCia..eh baru bisa dipost hari ini..hehehehehehe...agak basi yah..=P

into a better person in 2008

Well, people, life truly is rolling up and down. One thing I take lesson of it is that in life nothing is really certain.
Yep, I notice my life since Christmas and until this day, things seem flashing so fast in my personal and professional work. Happy, sad, angry, tired and tears come and go within days, and all the moods seems so easily changing. I don’t really like myself at this time of my life. I hate to have this feeling and feeling so uncomfortable.

Within this couple weeks, some of my friends complaints about me and my responses. It seems I am so jutek (bahasa gaulnya). Padahal sebenernya ga bermaksud kaya gitu sama sekali. Temanku, kalau kamu membaca ini dan kamu adalah salah seorang korban dari kejutekan diriku, aku sungguh minta maaf. Aku tidak bermaksud seperti itu..hanya karena nada ngomongnya salah, jadi salah paham. Maafkan kejutekan dan kata-kata diriku yang tidak dikontrol dan dipikir..Semoga kalian mau memaafkan yah..

Teman, meskipun akhir2 ini hidup dan kegiatan kantor so demanding, tapi banyak sekali pelajaran yang bisa gue ambil dan peroleh. Yang pasti gue semakin mengenal diri gue lebih jauh. Seperti pembicaraan ku per telepon dengan salah seorang temanku itu, kita mesti memikirkan perasaan orang lain dan juga mesti menjaga perasaan temen dan lawan bicara kita. Kadang emang susah kalo kita sendiri punya kebiasaan kurang baik. Hal ini terjadi juga sama diri gue. Kalau kalian kenal gue lebih jauh, sebagai orang yang nyablak dan cuek, kadang2 gue kalo ngomong suka ga mikir. Dari hal yang biasa sampe menyakiti bisa keluar tuh. Dan gue sendiri kadang tidak merasakan itu berlebihan karena buat gue itu adalah hal biasa…Well, I’ve taken my lesson in a hard way ( masih nyesel sih, cuma udah ga bisa berbuat apa-apa nih! TInggal berharap!) Yap, gue kayanya emang terlampau cuek neh..jadinya yah begini ini, kalo nyakitin perasaan orang suka ga sadar deh…

Ga bisa bilang banyak tapi sepertinya mulai sekarang, gue mesti belajar untuk lebih bijaksana dalam memilih kata-kata dan berbicara. Seharusnya sebenernya bukan mulai sekarang ajah gue mulai melakukan ini, tapi semestinya sejak dahulu kala. Well, all had happened in the past, nothing can change it, therefore What I can do is to change my behaviour now and onwards. Hehehehe…terlalu gaya neh bahasa gue…

Intinya adalah, Let us commit to ourselves to make ourselves each and every day becoming better and better…Into a Better Person we should be…