Risk? Risiko?

Well, after 3 years not writing and surely have no idea of what to write, 

I 'm back. 

There are so many things which had happened in my life, but today I am writing about RISK. Yes, Risk. Risiko in Bahasa Indonesia. In my financial world, there are 2 risks: Systematic Risk and Unsystematic Risk. No, we are not going to talk about Finance, though I would love to. It is, about risk in life. 

Like choices, life comes with so many risks. Every choice we make comes with a different risk. Choice A may come with risk 1, 2, 3, 4, etc else, Choice B may come with risk 1, 3 only, and so there are more variations to it. I don't see any thing that come without any risk to it. Some people call it consequences instead of risks, but yeah, they are still there anyway. One thing for sure, it is there and will always be there, whether we like it or not. What matter is not how to eliminate it, but how to face it. Risk may give good and or bad result.  In my opinion, what will life be if there are no risks at all. It's gonna be dull and boring. 

Most of the time we are afraid to do something, because of the consequences that come with our actions. We have thought about it, even before we do the action. Yes, I still experience the fear to take some decisions too, but honestly, most of the time, the consequences are not that bad. I know, I did take one of the hugest decision last year. Afraid? For sure. Crazy? Maybe. Stressed? A little. Happy? Yes. :)  Did I make the right decision? I don't know, but I knew for sure, that was the thing I wanted. It's the mind that we need to conquer, so that we are strong and brave to take actions which may bring not-so-favorable risks. The heart is actually strong and can take almost anything. 

Risks are unavoidable, we can manage them but not eliminate them. Stay brave! 

pictures are taken from here

Curly Hair

So, Here I am, in a cafe in KLCC KL, Malaysia waiting my next flight which will bring me home. I've been sitting here since 6.30am and just now I saw a blonde lady sitting 2 desks way from me. What interest me is that she has curly hair, the curly type I've always wanted until today.

I don't know why, but Curly Hair has interest me much, please read this in positive way. I Think this is because I really want to have such hair without looking weird. Honestly, I have tried to curl several times. The first time was during my college years, I curled my whole hair from the root into the end of it.  I really liked it, my hair looked so big and many, unlike my normal hair which is thin and straight. At that time, I didn't have to wash my hair daily and also i don't really need to comb my hair too often. Hahahahahaha...yeap, It's true! I grew it for quite sometime and then cut it short afterwards, cause it got so dry. The interesting part  was that after I had my real normal hair, some of my close friends felt relieved. They said I looked better with my real hair...:D

Then, the 2nd time I curled my hair was sometimes in 2012, I recall. :) That was an impulsive decision too. I remembered on the 1st of Jan,2012 I went to a salon in my friends' apartment. She did some hair creambath, and I curled my hair. Not the whole hair like I did previously though. It didn't last long though, since I immediately cut it short. 

Well, it still interests me to curl up my hair again someday. I love to experiment with my hair. Grow it long, then suddenly cut it super short, curl it up, color it with some 'acceptable' color and most of the time my fave hair cut is the middle length one, still look hip, young and modern but still lady like.

 Gosh, what language was that! One more thing, Since 2009 I have 1 trusted person who always cut my hair, he is good! He always knows what I want and what looks good on me, and with him, it wasn't time consuming. The only thing I sometimes hate from him is that every time I asked him to curl my hair, he always refused it. He said I will look like encim-encim (middle-aged auntie). Damn! (Forgive my language, but He is right) :)

I made it!

There are days, when you feel that it’s been a very long and lonely journey…

When will this be ended, you questioned…

Should I stop now, you asked…

Will there be any light by the end of tunnel?

Keep walking…

Keep praying…

Keep fighting…

Never give up on hope…

Because one day..He will be there..opening His arm and hug you…

And when that day comes, you will say proudly: “I made it this far..”

I don't know...

Late at night, someone told me, "I'm lost. I don't know what I want. I have so many in my thoughts. I seemed to just drifted away along with the current...."

I asked again, "What is it you really want?"

"I don't know."

"Again, what is your dream? What do you want to achieve?"

"I don't know."

[Oh Dear, it's hard to bring anything up, when the answers were mostly 'don't know']

So I said..."Take your time, away from all the gadget and the 'busy' life and make time to contemplate."

This person only laughed at my suggestion. 

so...i can only suggest, and wonder, how come you don't know what you want? 

Sum of Year 2012

Friday afternoon, nearly the end of the year, here I am sitting alone in my parents’ house. The thunder is actually growling out there and the sky is dark, somehow I am not afraid but very much excited. I know, I love rain very much, no matter what. J

In just about 4 days we will be in 2013. Amazing! I just felt like “Oh Dear, seemed like I just set my targets few months back!”  Yeah, that is exactly how most people would feel. Feel like haven’t done many things through-out the years, not accomplishing enough what were targeted, many plans weren’t exactly executed, etc.  If you ask me, I would say, I have accomplished 90%of my 2012 targets. Oh WOW! Yeah, I didn’t realize it until I opened my file this noon. I guess, I am quite proud of myself for this year! J *patting myself! Yeay…

Now, so many things happened during 2012, the good things and bad things, happy moments and sad moments, having new friends and losing friends, new born babies and losing my loved one forever,  parties and funeral, receiving goods and losing goods, giving and taking, emotional moments and etc., those events will not be enough to be written here. They made me who I am today. They helped me to grow, to mold me into (hopefully) a better person. The biggest lesson I learned in 2012 is to forgive. I learn to forgive those who have hurt me, and also moreover, I learn to forgive myself.  The latter is the hardest for me, but hey, I learn, step by step though.

Sum of the year 2012? I am proud of myself for accomplishing many things, whether planned or unplanned, and now I know, when we focus our mind and heart to what we dreamed of, we really can accomplish it. Prove it yourself! J

So, what’s next?! I know my next steps and targets, how about you? Let’s make our dreams come true.

picture from here